There are bad football kits – then there are weird football kits.
Sporting Braga drove fans crazy when they unveiled their 2019-20 top – a wacky jersey inspired by the soldiers of ancient Rome that sported body armor.
Opinions were divided when it was released, and rightly so.
But Braga isn’t the only team to have committed a bizarre fashion crime when it comes to their jerseys.
Here are 12 more that will cover your eyes in disgust!
1860 Munich (2018/19)
The German team 1860 Munich got into the spirit of Oktoberfest in 2018 by launching a special kit with faux leather lederhosen shorts.
The wacky gang made their debut against third tier club Wehen Wiesbaden last year, just in time for the beer festival.
You can’t help but think that whoever made it might have had a few beers before.
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Zamora CF (2018)
Spain’s Zamora CF fourth division team third shirt last season was certainly something we’ve never seen before, but there’s probably a reason for it.
The tape, produced by Kappa, is imprinted with a real circulatory system (we know this) – with the team logo used in place of the human heart.
One of the most important details is sewn to the back of the shirt – a very clear message that is not just addressed to Zamora fans.
The sentence reads: “Blood, that reddish fluid that carries life through our body, that originates and flows from the heart to nourish our emotions and feelings. “
The worst kit ever? It’s definitely up there.
Colorado Caribou (1978)
Is it any surprise that the team with this bizarre number racked up the worst record in old NASL?
We don’t know what’s worse, the collar, the club crest (on the wrong side).
No, no, it is surely the faux leather pompom on the chest that highlights everything.
This isn’t a cowboy-highwayman western heist … it’s just a sting.
La Hoya Lorca (2013)
Well, at least if you were stuck at La Hoya Lorca, you’d be right on the trend.
That’s because their third kit in the 2013-14 season provided a backdrop for a set of polka dots.
Yes, peas. Like the ones you left on your plate after a Sunday roast.
They say they only did it to appease their sponsors.
1860 Munich (2010)
For their 150th anniversary, 1860 Munich sets the scene and decides to produce a reversible kit.
On one side was a return to their original colors, while on the other was a collage of players, managers and owners past and present.
The problem was, both sides were absolutely zero, and you definitely wouldn’t want to represent your club wearing it.
Atlético Madrid (2004)
No wonder Fernando Torres decided to leave Atletico Madrid in the 2000s.
El Nino just couldn’t stand kits like this one from Nike – with a spiderweb design – obviously made to promote the Spider-Man 2 movie.
Do you remember the backwards kiss of Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire? Well, that was the movie after that one.
The problem with this is, just like defending La Liga champions Atletico Madrid in recent years, the films needed a complete overhaul and were remade a decade later.
And just like the old DVDs of this Spider Man franchise, there’s only one place you can find this forgotten Atletico Madrid kit … on the web.
In the 2000s (again), the Burger King – meaning a guy with a rubber mask and a crown – would overlap with American ads, intercept soccer balls, and score touchdowns in various ads inspired by the NFL.
It was really hilarious.
The problem was, this was a campaign that aired almost exclusively in America – not Europe – and we play a different kind of football.
So when Burger King decided to print their king’s face on the lapel of a Getafe shirt so that you could do a ‘Ravanelli’ and see the rubber royal himself, we Europeans were kinda puzzled.
Even more bizarre, they had their best season in La Liga and reached the semi-finals of the Copa del Rey – the “Kings Cup”.
CD Palencia (2016)
Who would have thought that football could be fun and educational?
Well, just ask the Spanish club (yes, again) of Palencia, which has established itself in the uniform market.
This should make preseason training a snap, just eat whatever you want and you’ll still have a six pack.
Hamstring pulled? The club’s physiotherapist could have some problems.
Cultural Leonesa (2014)
Haven’t the Spaniards really heard any jokes about the Spanish waiters?
Obviously not, as they wore these tuxedo-inspired jerseys for the 2014/15 season, complete with an eye-catching bow tie.
I don’t know what they were supposed to wear for the club’s annual awards ceremony, be warned.
Cameroon has committed two couture crimes against football.
One was in 2002, when they decided to pull out their biceps and wear sleeveless shirts – like they did in a friendly against England.
Unfortunately, the design of the vest was banned for the 2002 World Cup by Sepp Blatter.
So after that, they just wore a well-fitting underlayer under the Puma jerseys.
Then, two years later, Puma came up with an all-in-one uniform – which was equally baffling and was, once again, banned.
City of Hull (1992)
“Tiger, tiger, burning” as the old saying goes.
During the 1992 season, Hull City opted for a flaming tiger print jersey.
But on a soccer field, it looked just plain silly … especially on Dean Windass.
Athletics Club (2004)
This monstrosity was designed by Basque artist Dario Urzay to mark the club’s centenary in 2004 – and Bilbao only wore it in the Uefa Cup.
It was meant to look like a splash of blood, but rather looks like a trail of tomato ketchup splashed on a dining table by a child after dinner.
Bilbao would have been better off sticking to their regulatory white and red stripes.
And no wonder they only showed it in European competition.
Bedale AFC (2021)
In the world’s first see-through strip, players from Bedale AFC – famous for their fancy outfits – lined up in see-through kits for Prostate Cancer UK.
Giant white arrows on the shorts and shirt indicate their manhood, with a message saying, “Remember to check.”
The North Yorkshire club of the North Riding League donates £ 5 for every kit sale.
They have raised £ 200,000 for Prostate Cancer UK and hope to reach £ 250,000.
Their previous bands have featured hot dogs, firecrackers and mash.
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